The dryer has a broken heating element at the house, so I thought it would be faster to just go to the laundromat. Little did I know this would turn into a very strange day. My stomach wasn’t feeling very good, but I figured it was nothing to worry about. I was probably just hungry. I had forgotten to have breakfast that day. I had a book to read and my phone and everything was fine until suddenly I got sharp pains in my stomach. This awful gurgling noise started and I had to find the bathroom immediately!
Several minutes of extreme gastrointestinal duress later,( I’ll spare you the gory details) I could not find my laundry!! I checked every dryer. My pants and underwear were gone!! Just gone!! Who steals someone’s laundry?? Is some stranger out there walking around wearing my underwear? They were clean, but still! Creepy!!
Sadly, this not the first time my clothes have been stolen. Once, in High School, someone stole my jeans while I was in P.E. I had to walk around in gym shorts for the rest of the day while everyone assumed I had some sort of accident! Why? Just why?
Another time, a friend’s sister came to my house and stole a bunch of my clothes while I wasn’t home! My mom caught her “shopping” in my closet. Why the hell do these people want to steal my clothes? At least prior to this incident, my underwear was safe!
Except for the time a Hotel in California lost my underwear after I sent it out for laundry service. I had to keep describing my underwear to Hotel staff who tried very hard not to laugh for about 3 days before they found and returned it. Every day, a new staff member would say ” Can you describe your lost underwear?” I never want to hear those words again! I never even got reimbursed for having to go buy more! I love shopping but not under these circumstances.
My life is just plain weird sometimes!!
So yesterday I found myself in an unairconditoned laundromat which they call a Washeteria in this southern state I have moved to. It was about a thousand degrees and I was sweating bullets while washing my clothes and my man-friends clothes!! My hands are turning black from the quarters, money is filthy people!! So I go to the washroom and it has no soap!! The horror!! I did however have wet wipes in my car, so blackened hand crisis averted.
So I’m sitting there, sweating like a pig and reading a book just waiting to put our clothes in the dryer. I’m in a really good mood despite the fact that I am super gross, and I am planning out what to cook for dinner to impress man-friend, which is tough cuz I live in a motel and don’t have an oven!! As you can see, this requires thought..
So the clothes are finally ready to be moved to the dryer, and right in front of the washer is the biggest bug I have ever seen!! This thing must be on steroids!! It’s staring me down and practically daring me to get the clothes!! I’m way too sweaty to wait extra time to move the clothes, and way too scared of this thing to move/kill it. I open,the washer and do a weird swat like thing and pull out each item individually so it doesn’t fall on or anywhere near the bug, making sure not to look away from the bug so it doesn’t crawl on or towards me.
This man just sits and watches me do this ridiculous stuff for what feels like forever! I’d rather look stupid than come near the giant demon bug!! When I’m almost done, he comes over and steps on the bug and then takes a kleenex out of his pocket and removes it for me. I thank him profusely, wish he had done it sooner though..I guess I was just too weird to not watch for a while…
And just because I know you are wondering, I made spaghetti. Man friend said he was very impressed, probably because he laughed at me when I told him about the bug!
By the way, I’m afraid of bugs..