When life gives you lemons, put them in your water!! ( oh and I might possibly have a stalker)

Adventures, fitness, Natural products, Skin care

I read an article that said drinking lemon water will give you clearer skin, fresher breath and detox your body. Score! I’m in. So for the past two weeks I have been doing just that. My skin looks better, I’m drinking more water because it tastes better and that’s always a good healthy thing to do! As for the detoxing part, I’m not really sure as I cannot see my internal organs. I do however pee constantly, so the detoxing thing might be legit…

How does this relate to being stalked? Well because I now have to pee all the time, I have had to stop at gas stations to go. ( while doing outside sales for work) While I’m there, I sometimes get more water or some gummy bears because gummy bears are delicious! This is when I noticed that I always seem to see the same person there. This would not be a big deal except for the fact that I work almost an hour away from where I live and I’ve seen this dude both close to home and near my work! He always holds the door for me, or I would not have even noticed….

I typically just go where I need to go and do what I need to do without really paying any attention to my surroundings or the strangers around me! Maybe I’m too much in a hurry, or just not too aware? This is not the best for safety reasons. But I noticed! If I noticed, what did I not notice? It could be nothing, just a coincidence, but maybe I should slow down and pay more attention anyhow.

Perhaps this Dude lives near me, also works near me and is also drinking lemon water and therefore pees 100 times a day! Maybe he is on a juice cleanse of some sort? I hope so. Why on earth would anyone want to stalk me? I’m not that interesting! I pee a lot and love gummy bears and fruit snacks is all he might know about me. I also apparently write a blog post where I discuss my bathroom habits ad nauseum..

I will investigate this further and keep you updated! And I do recommend the lemon water as long you don’t have a stalker!

 

-Kristin

 

 

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The holidays are going to be awkward, but I have a lip stain I love…

Adventures, goals, makeup, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

So this morning my guy shows me a text his mom sent him. I’m paraphrasing here, but it basically said that I am a bad choice for him because of my depression issues! Wow! That was unexpected and it hurt. I thought she liked me and we got along great. Needless to say, I felt like crying. Imagine the shaking bottom lip, the tears welling up and the sniff sniff sound one makes because crying makes your nose run. Sexy stuff! I was at work though, so no choice but to hold it in and keep my head up. I did however text my best friend, because that’s what people do.

I’m very candid about my experiences with Depression and Anxiety. I’m not ashamed of who I am or where I’ve been. The stigma is real and many people suffer in silence. I think it’s sad to be too ashamed to admit what you’re going through, or part of what makes you who you are. No one is perfect. We all have things we could work on, or need help from time to time.I’m stronger for it and I’m more empathetic towards others. I wouldn’t change a thing!

I spent much of the day feeling bad about myself, sniff! eyes welling up with tears. Sniff, sniff! shaky hands and bottom lip quivering, but then I realized that there is nothing I can do about it.  What I can do, is fix my makeup, keep my head up, and know that I am not under any obligation to be everything to everyone. Speaking of makeup, I just got a great lip-stain at Target. E.L.F. lip-stain in Rouge Radiance, it’s a bright red in the tube, but gives you that just ate a popsical stain that looks really pretty and natural. It lasts a long time and doesn’t dry out my lips! I like it for work, or when I don’t want to go full-on red lipstick! It really is the little things! It’s a little watery, so my tip is spread it with your finger. You know how to apply lip stick, so I’m not going to explain the process, you’re smarter than that…

That’s the big trick I think, focus on what you like about yourself, even if it is your makeup! Baby steps! Also, use a different kleenex for your eyes than you use for your nose! No one wants to be sad and have a eye infection!

Wish me luck!

-Kristin

 

A lesson in emotional maturity, I didn’t even know I was getting

Adventures, goals, happy, relationships

My guy and I were fighting horribly and making up over the course of the next two days. We are both very passionate people! We are both stubborn as well. I am not known to be an emotionally mature person! I yell, scream, storm off and if you say something mean to me, I’ll say something even meaner back. I want to win!

For some reason, when we were fighting, I did not say mean things, leave or try to win. This time, I stayed and fought for us. When we were talking later, my guy said “The difference between couples who stay together and those who don’t is communication.”Wow! So he’s right and that was very insightful. He was telling me that if we both agree to always talk things out we will never have a fight we can’t get past. He’s so right too!!  I had this giant epiphany where I realized that all this time, he has been teaching me emotional maturity and I never even knew it. I’m growing and I didn’t even know it!!Even my best friend was surprised.

He then went on to tell me that he is absolutely going to marry me one day. He didn’t ask, he told me matter-of-factly. I said” okay then.” It was funny and sweet just like him. So I guess that’s a future post to look forward to. Third time is the charm, right? Oddly, it doesn’t freak me out in the slightest because he gets me, he challenges me and teaches me things without me even realizing it.

Today, he left me 10 voicemails on his way to work. All saying that he loves me, in one he was singing to me! I cried happy sappy tears like I do when I watch The Notebook. I’m the happiest girl in the world right now! Guess my life wasn’t ruined by a cardboard box after all.

 

-Kristin

 

The product that unclogs pores in 10 minutes flat! No nose strips required

Acne, goals, Skin care

So I just bought Mario Badescue Silver Powder at Ulta. I’m Obsessed! This is the coolest product I have ever tried. So far, at least. It unclogs your pores and gets rid of blackheads and acne. It’s a powder too, so not sticky or stinky.

You wet a cottonball and put it where needed. Those are the instructions, simple and to the point. Leave it on 10 minutes and rinse. That’s it! I could see the difference right away!

I had slept with my makeup on, which I never ever do, but I was exhausted and fell asleep watching tv. The horror!! So I washed my face and put this on my nose, forehead and chin. If I fall asleep in my makeup, I always do a face mask the next day to un-do any damage. Today, I just used this. It looks pretty funny while it’s on and I’m sure my guy thought I was a crazy person, but it got the job done. Kind of looks like wet flour was on my face. It’s not drying either, which I love.

My skin is clear, blackhead free and not at all dried out! You would never know I slept in my makeup if I hadn’t told you. Looks like I recently had a facial!! I highly recommend this powder for any skin type.Trust!!

Do you have any great new products?

-Kristin

 

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An empty cardboard box ruined my life! But at least I’m consistent..

Adventures, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

So, last night I ruined my life. My guy and I went out and I started talking to this guy who had tarot cards. I love that stuff! My guy thought I was giving him googly eyes and ignoring my man and left/got angry. I just wanted him to read my cards and tell me if we would be together forever, which of course, I wanted the answer to be yes! I went to find my guy, tarot card guy drove since I was drinking, my guy had his daughter pick him up. I dropped tarot card guy off, went home, couldn’t get into the house, cried and cried, tarot card dude shows up to bring me back to the bar!!

Turns out, tarot card dude did a full background check on me!! Creepy!I do not go back to the bar! My guy comes home, tatot card dude is on the porch… Shit got real bad and I took 2 entire bottles of pills to try to end it all. Someone stuck their finger down my throat, and here I am to deal with the fallout!

2 holes in the wall and 2 turned over tables later, someone ( tarot card guy I assume) put an empty condom box in my purse!!! Life over! Ruined! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200.00.

So I tell my guy, I do not now, or ever had any interest in Tarot card guy, didn’t cheat on him, wouldn’t ever! I beg him to take me to the doctor for proof of what I KNOW to be the truth..no dice. So I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that I didn’t cheat, but I can’t prove it… whomever did it wins! They just get to win?  Yeah yeah, life isn’t fair. .Hope Karma exisits.

So neither of us went to work, my integrity is in question, I may not have a job or relationship much longer, I also have no real friends here and no where else to go!! Yay, how to ruin your life in one night!!.

So by now, you’re probably thinking I’m a nut job, but I’m just really good at ruining my life. 2 failed marriages,no friends in the state I live in, and no feasible way to fix it.

But….you must have forgot…I’m a surviver! Tradgedy plus time is comedy and soon I will laugh about this. Because as much as I fail and ruin my own life more than any other person I know, I’m not boring, I always find a way to move forward.

Somehow, someway I will make it better! At least until I ruin my life all over again..just nowhere that snows!

-If you have a story, you can share it with me, no judgement ever!

 

-Kristin

I have a love/hate relationship with acrylic nails and some voodoo

Adventures, nail polish, saving money

I love getting my nails done, I love that they stay nice looking for weeks, there is no better way to look polished than having nice fingernails! However, the cost I do not love. It had been awhile since I have been able to get to the nails salon so they got all grown out-which I could not stand. I hate hate chipped nail polish or grown out acrylics! So I took them off myself this morning.

I soaked my nails in 100% acetone nail polish remover and got impatient, so I kind of just ripped them off one by one, not recommended. They are ripped to shreads, thin, and hurty. I cut them down as far as I could without drawing blood and painted them red. Problem solved. At least they look semi-decent. I take them off, then miss them and go get them done, then take them off again. It’s a vicious cycle!

While I was mutilating my fingers, I lit a voodoo protection candle because someone had broken into our house before we moved in and stole our refrigerator and stove, and just a few days ago while we were at work, our neighbors chased off some guy in a red truck who was walking around our house for some reason.

It would be smart to get an alarm system, but the candle was cheaper! It should come as no shock that a person who obsessively checks their horoscope would use a voodoo candle to feel safe, hey whatever works right?

 

-Kristin

Going from office to out on a Friday night

makeup, relationships

On Fridays, usually my guy and I leave the house for work around 6:45am and then go straight out after work. That’s right, we live and work together! ( So far, we are not sick of each other) This does not afford me much time to “get ready”, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve to make it look like I did…

Luckily, I can wear jeans to work, so  i usually do on Fridays and I pick a shirt that is appropriate but not super office-y. I don’t usually dress up much for work, so a black t-shirt and jeans or a nice top and jeans works. Fridays, no band t-shirts sadly. I do my makeup as usual and bring a few accessories with me, like a change of earrings or bracelets or a change of shoes. ( be careful with very high heels if you are planning to engage in substance abuse)

Now for what’s in my bag.. I always carry a travel sized deodorant with me because after a long day in the heat, smelling bad is possible. I have a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste ( no explanation needed), hand cream A black hair tie, a red and a pink lipstick, lip-gloss, black eyeliner, setting powder for touch-ups, q-tips, and dry shampoo.

So right before I leave work, I add more eyeliner, put on some lipstick, which can be used as blush if needed,  fix any smudged makeup or shiny areas,touch up my hair with dry shampoo for volume, hand cream can be used for frizzy hair very sparingly- I mean it- a little bit goes a long way!, and brush my teeth and use deodorant if needed. I change accessories if I want to that day, and done. 5 minutes and I’m ready for a night out.

What tricks do you know? Share!

-Kristin

 

I thought the sky was falling, then I went back on cymbalta…

addictions, Adventures, happy, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

I have been taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds or a long time. At some point, my guy convinced me I didn’t need them, so I abruptly stopped taking them. Don’t EVER EVER do that… Here is what happened

I started feeling like everyone hated me, then I started getting really paranoid. I started crying uncontrollably all the time. I was depressed and totally irrational and it just kept getting worse. It’s like my mind would twist every situation into more than it needed to be, but I was genuinely hurt over nothing. I started drinking more and more, and then I drank a bottle of wine and took several ambien. I overdosed and ended up in the hospital. I was unconscience for almost 2 days! My guy was devastated! I scared the hell out of everyone!! I was not myself for almost a month! I thought about killing myself all the time, thought everyone hated me, and I felt so very alone and confused all the time.

I looked up what going off cymbalta suddenly does and here are the side effects:

Blackouts

Suicidal Thoughts

Tremor

Nausea

Brain “zaps” electric shock like symptoms

Anxiety

irritability

Hostility

Tremor

Visual and audible hallucinations

Paranoia

Nightmares

Involuntary crying or laughing

Confusion

Hypomania

Seizures

Well, I guess that explains why I was not myself at all. I have gone back on Cymbalta and am taking it as directed. If I try to get off it again, I will do so under a doctor’s care. What it all came down to was, while my guy does not think I need them, I had to make the decision to go back on them because my quality of life was not good when I tried to get off them.

I think maybe that is the hardest thing to do, when those you love think they know what is best for you, but at the end of the day, you gotta know what you need and be willing to go against loved ones if need be to save yourself. I’m not “crazy” but I know I need the antidepressants and was given them for a reason.

I’m happy to report that I am happy, healthy and myself again!

-Kristin

 

How I lost 6 lbs in one week…

addictions, dieting, eating disorders, fitness, goals, mental health, relationships

So for the past couple weeks, we have been moving and for a while did not have a refrigerator or stove, which meant lots of fast food and eating at restaurants. I gained a little weight, my clothes still fit, but I could tell and was not very happy with the way I looked. It may not be healthy but my self esteem is very much tied up in my weight and clothing size!  I once had a meltdown in a dressing room because I needed to go up a size, I’m talking full sobbing! ( I know THE HORROR!)

I have a full time job now and an hour commute,plus we are moving, so I have not been able to workout as much as I would like, but I have been walking as much as possible during the day and lifting heavy boxes into the house, so I’m hoping that counts. Lifting several heavy boxes and helping to move appliances has to burn calories!! Full disclosure, I have struggled with eating disorders off and on since Jr. High. I’m happy and healthy right now, and my guy says I look fantastic and am thin, I however think there is room for improvement…always have, always will….that’s kind of how that sort of thing works..Sweetheart that he is, he will NOT let me skip meals, ever!!

Here is how I lost 6 lbs. in one week without starving or purging… We went grocery shopping once we got a refrigerator and bought fruit, chicken ,steak and vegetables. Everyday for breakfast I had either half a grapefruit or a small amount of cottage cheese. For lunch a small portion of chicken or steak, grilled and some brown rice, Then walked around a store for my whole lunch hour at a fast pace, for dinner, the same chicken or steak , or fish with mushrooms. I also bought Purely Inspired Garcinia Cambogia. You take 3 pills before your 2 biggest meals and it is supposed to help you lose weight faster!

I’ve been taking the Garcinia Cambogia for a week and it helps me feel less hungry and so I am eating better and less! It does not give me a jittery feeling, although I can drink coffee all day long and not get that, so I guess I am not sensitive to caffeine.I got it for less than 10 dollars at walmart, and I think it’s working well!! My jeans are roomy in the waist again and my xs shirts are roomy too! I may be a total mess, but at least I don’t need to buy new, bigger pants! No meltdowns for me!

Any tips or tricks for me? Share!!

-Kristin

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Anxiety, cold feet or something else…what am I so afraid of?

Adventures, happy, mental health, relationships, sleep

I am a very decisive person. I know what I want the moment I see it and can make choices quickly. I want those shoes, that guy, this house, those dishes,red nail polish, ect. you get the idea.. ( Not all my choices are good,I make bad ones all the time, but I made them quickly) So today I officially move into a new house with my guy. All my stuff in one place, finally! We have “unofficially” been living together for months now. When I moved into the motel, he came over and brought more stuff each time and we just started living together, no weird awkward relationship talks, just felt natural. We have kinda moved our relationship at warp speed since day 1, and none of it ever freaked me out because it all feels very right. We said ” I love you” within weeks, started talking about forever within the first month and I never freaked out, I was never worried. (I did however consult a psychic a few times to make sure, but that’s a story for another post.) For some reason, I have been up all night freaking out and what-ifing and basically being the most neurotic person in the world! Why?

I was full panic mode this morning and my guy said I have cold feet. He’s probably right, but why now?  I’m suddenly terrified of losing my identity!! What if I don’t make friends? What if he decides to leave me? What if I never really feel at home? What if eating something he shot makes me too sad? He is very into hunting and is very excited for me to try deer and squirrel-yes, you read that right, it was not a typo. I agreed to try squirrel meat! Terrified, but keeping an open mind. (I have never ever eaten something that didn’t come from a grocery store or restaurant, never seen hunting in real life) What if I become a completely different person while learning to live in “his world”. What if I am too unorganized, or have too many weird quirks and he hates living with me? What if the sky falls?

Anxiety is a cruel affliction! Moving is stressful. Maybe I just need to take a chill pill and take a nap. Either way, I actually feel a bit calmer now that I have told you guys, or Y’all as my guy would say.

-I will keep you updated. Wish me luck!

-Kristin