A lesson in emotional maturity, I didn’t even know I was getting

Adventures, goals, happy, relationships

My guy and I were fighting horribly and making up over the course of the next two days. We are both very passionate people! We are both stubborn as well. I am not known to be an emotionally mature person! I yell, scream, storm off and if you say something mean to me, I’ll say something even meaner back. I want to win!

For some reason, when we were fighting, I did not say mean things, leave or try to win. This time, I stayed and fought for us. When we were talking later, my guy said “The difference between couples who stay together and those who don’t is communication.”Wow! So he’s right and that was very insightful. He was telling me that if we both agree to always talk things out we will never have a fight we can’t get past. He’s so right too!!  I had this giant epiphany where I realized that all this time, he has been teaching me emotional maturity and I never even knew it. I’m growing and I didn’t even know it!!Even my best friend was surprised.

He then went on to tell me that he is absolutely going to marry me one day. He didn’t ask, he told me matter-of-factly. I said” okay then.” It was funny and sweet just like him. So I guess that’s a future post to look forward to. Third time is the charm, right? Oddly, it doesn’t freak me out in the slightest because he gets me, he challenges me and teaches me things without me even realizing it.

Today, he left me 10 voicemails on his way to work. All saying that he loves me, in one he was singing to me! I cried happy sappy tears like I do when I watch The Notebook. I’m the happiest girl in the world right now! Guess my life wasn’t ruined by a cardboard box after all.

 

-Kristin

 

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The product that unclogs pores in 10 minutes flat! No nose strips required

Acne, goals, Skin care

So I just bought Mario Badescue Silver Powder at Ulta. I’m Obsessed! This is the coolest product I have ever tried. So far, at least. It unclogs your pores and gets rid of blackheads and acne. It’s a powder too, so not sticky or stinky.

You wet a cottonball and put it where needed. Those are the instructions, simple and to the point. Leave it on 10 minutes and rinse. That’s it! I could see the difference right away!

I had slept with my makeup on, which I never ever do, but I was exhausted and fell asleep watching tv. The horror!! So I washed my face and put this on my nose, forehead and chin. If I fall asleep in my makeup, I always do a face mask the next day to un-do any damage. Today, I just used this. It looks pretty funny while it’s on and I’m sure my guy thought I was a crazy person, but it got the job done. Kind of looks like wet flour was on my face. It’s not drying either, which I love.

My skin is clear, blackhead free and not at all dried out! You would never know I slept in my makeup if I hadn’t told you. Looks like I recently had a facial!! I highly recommend this powder for any skin type.Trust!!

Do you have any great new products?

-Kristin

 

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An empty cardboard box ruined my life! But at least I’m consistent..

Adventures, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

So, last night I ruined my life. My guy and I went out and I started talking to this guy who had tarot cards. I love that stuff! My guy thought I was giving him googly eyes and ignoring my man and left/got angry. I just wanted him to read my cards and tell me if we would be together forever, which of course, I wanted the answer to be yes! I went to find my guy, tarot card guy drove since I was drinking, my guy had his daughter pick him up. I dropped tarot card guy off, went home, couldn’t get into the house, cried and cried, tarot card dude shows up to bring me back to the bar!!

Turns out, tarot card dude did a full background check on me!! Creepy!I do not go back to the bar! My guy comes home, tatot card dude is on the porch… Shit got real bad and I took 2 entire bottles of pills to try to end it all. Someone stuck their finger down my throat, and here I am to deal with the fallout!

2 holes in the wall and 2 turned over tables later, someone ( tarot card guy I assume) put an empty condom box in my purse!!! Life over! Ruined! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200.00.

So I tell my guy, I do not now, or ever had any interest in Tarot card guy, didn’t cheat on him, wouldn’t ever! I beg him to take me to the doctor for proof of what I KNOW to be the truth..no dice. So I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that I didn’t cheat, but I can’t prove it… whomever did it wins! They just get to win?  Yeah yeah, life isn’t fair. .Hope Karma exisits.

So neither of us went to work, my integrity is in question, I may not have a job or relationship much longer, I also have no real friends here and no where else to go!! Yay, how to ruin your life in one night!!.

So by now, you’re probably thinking I’m a nut job, but I’m just really good at ruining my life. 2 failed marriages,no friends in the state I live in, and no feasible way to fix it.

But….you must have forgot…I’m a surviver! Tradgedy plus time is comedy and soon I will laugh about this. Because as much as I fail and ruin my own life more than any other person I know, I’m not boring, I always find a way to move forward.

Somehow, someway I will make it better! At least until I ruin my life all over again..just nowhere that snows!

-If you have a story, you can share it with me, no judgement ever!

 

-Kristin

I have a love/hate relationship with acrylic nails and some voodoo

Adventures, nail polish, saving money

I love getting my nails done, I love that they stay nice looking for weeks, there is no better way to look polished than having nice fingernails! However, the cost I do not love. It had been awhile since I have been able to get to the nails salon so they got all grown out-which I could not stand. I hate hate chipped nail polish or grown out acrylics! So I took them off myself this morning.

I soaked my nails in 100% acetone nail polish remover and got impatient, so I kind of just ripped them off one by one, not recommended. They are ripped to shreads, thin, and hurty. I cut them down as far as I could without drawing blood and painted them red. Problem solved. At least they look semi-decent. I take them off, then miss them and go get them done, then take them off again. It’s a vicious cycle!

While I was mutilating my fingers, I lit a voodoo protection candle because someone had broken into our house before we moved in and stole our refrigerator and stove, and just a few days ago while we were at work, our neighbors chased off some guy in a red truck who was walking around our house for some reason.

It would be smart to get an alarm system, but the candle was cheaper! It should come as no shock that a person who obsessively checks their horoscope would use a voodoo candle to feel safe, hey whatever works right?

 

-Kristin

Going from office to out on a Friday night

makeup, relationships

On Fridays, usually my guy and I leave the house for work around 6:45am and then go straight out after work. That’s right, we live and work together! ( So far, we are not sick of each other) This does not afford me much time to “get ready”, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve to make it look like I did…

Luckily, I can wear jeans to work, so  i usually do on Fridays and I pick a shirt that is appropriate but not super office-y. I don’t usually dress up much for work, so a black t-shirt and jeans or a nice top and jeans works. Fridays, no band t-shirts sadly. I do my makeup as usual and bring a few accessories with me, like a change of earrings or bracelets or a change of shoes. ( be careful with very high heels if you are planning to engage in substance abuse)

Now for what’s in my bag.. I always carry a travel sized deodorant with me because after a long day in the heat, smelling bad is possible. I have a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste ( no explanation needed), hand cream A black hair tie, a red and a pink lipstick, lip-gloss, black eyeliner, setting powder for touch-ups, q-tips, and dry shampoo.

So right before I leave work, I add more eyeliner, put on some lipstick, which can be used as blush if needed,  fix any smudged makeup or shiny areas,touch up my hair with dry shampoo for volume, hand cream can be used for frizzy hair very sparingly- I mean it- a little bit goes a long way!, and brush my teeth and use deodorant if needed. I change accessories if I want to that day, and done. 5 minutes and I’m ready for a night out.

What tricks do you know? Share!

-Kristin

 

I thought the sky was falling, then I went back on cymbalta…

addictions, Adventures, happy, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

I have been taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds or a long time. At some point, my guy convinced me I didn’t need them, so I abruptly stopped taking them. Don’t EVER EVER do that… Here is what happened

I started feeling like everyone hated me, then I started getting really paranoid. I started crying uncontrollably all the time. I was depressed and totally irrational and it just kept getting worse. It’s like my mind would twist every situation into more than it needed to be, but I was genuinely hurt over nothing. I started drinking more and more, and then I drank a bottle of wine and took several ambien. I overdosed and ended up in the hospital. I was unconscience for almost 2 days! My guy was devastated! I scared the hell out of everyone!! I was not myself for almost a month! I thought about killing myself all the time, thought everyone hated me, and I felt so very alone and confused all the time.

I looked up what going off cymbalta suddenly does and here are the side effects:

Blackouts

Suicidal Thoughts

Tremor

Nausea

Brain “zaps” electric shock like symptoms

Anxiety

irritability

Hostility

Tremor

Visual and audible hallucinations

Paranoia

Nightmares

Involuntary crying or laughing

Confusion

Hypomania

Seizures

Well, I guess that explains why I was not myself at all. I have gone back on Cymbalta and am taking it as directed. If I try to get off it again, I will do so under a doctor’s care. What it all came down to was, while my guy does not think I need them, I had to make the decision to go back on them because my quality of life was not good when I tried to get off them.

I think maybe that is the hardest thing to do, when those you love think they know what is best for you, but at the end of the day, you gotta know what you need and be willing to go against loved ones if need be to save yourself. I’m not “crazy” but I know I need the antidepressants and was given them for a reason.

I’m happy to report that I am happy, healthy and myself again!

-Kristin