The case for not googling someone…

Adventures, relationships

I recently made a new friend. I’m relatively new to the state I currently live in, so making friends has been tough for me. I was super excited!! Then, he told me he researched me online. He knew the last name I had from my first marriage and the address of my childhood home, family members names, ect. I feel like he violated my privacy!! I have had problems with stalkers in the past, and I keep my online presence small and never reveal my location! I know everyone searches new friends or love interests online, but I think it’s a bad idea, hear me out…

So I have had friends who like a guy and painstakingly go through his facebook profile and instagram, ect. They spend hours searching and searching driving themselves crazy in the process, but it might be easier to just ask the questions they want answers to! That picture tells you nothing without context. Is that pretty girl in the picture with him an ex girlfriend or his sister? You could spend hours agonizing over that, or not look through that stuff at all and listen to what he says…

If you have kids and want to make sure your new love interest isn’t a registered sex offender, that makes sense! But stop there! His facebook post from 2012 isn’t going to give you any valuable information! By looking me up, you may know that I have been married twice, and got married way too young the first time, but you won’t know why. Isn’t the why the most important thing? You can find out my relatives names, but not how I feel about them, or know who makes the best cookies and what our holiday traditions are.

Searching me online won’t tell you that I’m a terrible singer but I love to sing and do it anyway,It won’t tell you I can really draw. It won’t tell you my hopes and dreams, that I’m funny,that I love the smell of vanilla or that I change my haircolor when I’m sad… Aren’t these type of things what a friendship is based on? I would much rather learn your stories from you, in your own words than drive myself nuts searching through your social media posts and imagining what the story might be! This is why, in my opinion, we should stop online stalking people! It doesn’t really tell you the important things anyway.

I will get off my soapbox now…

Kristin

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One thought on “The case for not googling someone…

  1. If you were interested to learn about a person and you were specifically going out to have a sit down and get a friendship going, why would you look up any of that information?

    What it sounds like this guy is a total stocker.

    I’m glad that you picked up on it because some people might think of it as a type of flattery.

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