Today a homeless person felt sorry for me and I inadvertently almost took a job doing foot porn…

Adventures, goals, mental health, relationships

So I have been looking for a job for a bit now. Today I had an interview that was over an hour south into the city. I never made it to my interview though because my gps died on the way!! I’m a little scared to drive on the tollway as it is, so when I ended up in a bad part of town and my gps was dead, I pulled into a parking lot to try to get my bearings. Twenty minutes later, I missed my interview, had no data on my phone and the meltdown happened! ( anxiety is a cruel affliction)

I called my ex and asked for help and all seemed well, then it all went away again. Called my guy and he suggested asking people for help, since I had no idea where I was. I got out of my car, sobbing and shaking and walking down the street past homeless people in my best interview outfit, a Michael Kors purse and 4 inch heels! Great! Now I can’t even run away if I need to. The anxiety increases as does the sobbing. A very nice old homeless lady asked me what was wrong and I explained that I was lost, scared and missed my interview! She gave me a hug and told me people are basically good, and even though she can’t help me figure out how to get home, someone will! She smelled like cat pee and felt sorry for me!! I gave her all the cash in my wallet and continued sobbing down the street.

A few gas stations later, and I made it home safely and let everyone know I was home and safe! I am very grateful for the kindness of strangers! I got back on the job search. A few hours later, I get on craigslist and a posting reads,” Are you good with the written word? Looking for flexible hours? Call this number.” and so I call. I’m thinking it might be a writing job, and I like to write. ( Duh) Well, the guy talks to me on the phone for a while and then casually asks me my shoe size, I tell him and then he asks me if my toenails are painted, I’m getting a bit weirded out here, but my dumb ass stays on the phone! Turns out, he wants to pay me $100.00 for a picture of my feet!! I’m not kidding!! I actually consider this for about half a second and then hang up!!

I manage not to start drinking yet, somehow, and continue sending off resume’s for anything I am qualified for. Fingers crossed I can find something a bit closer to home that isn’t illegal or creepy in any way!!

On that note, I am opening a beer ( wishing it was an umbrella drink) and hoping tomorrow is an uneventful day!! Wish me luck!!






Beauty Products for Macho Men…

Adventures, food allergies, happy, relationships, Skin care

So my guy works on cars for a living. He comes home covered in grease and motor oil and has to really really scrub to get it off! I’m taking, filthy!! I bought him an exfoliating body wash to help him out. Macho man that he is, he was just plain confused by this…in the cute-est way!

Yesterday was very exciting, my guy decided to cook his favorite meal for me! Because I can’t have gluten, I have never had chicken fried steak. The horror!( I’m such a pain to feed) He came home very very excited to cook for me, and I was excited too. I’m very lucky that he loves to cook. He was covered in more dirt than usual and wanted to take a bath first. His hands were completely black with car dirt! I put some bubble bath in the tub for him and gave him the exfoliating body wash. I even added a bath bomb! Well, he isn’t used to bubble bath! “Babe, I feel all slippery!” he says from the bathtub. “Is this baby oil?, why am I so slippery?” he asks. He is sliding around like a little kid. I started laughing and told him it was moisturizing bubble bath. ” This stuff is all gritty, is there salt in it?” he said about the body wash… He was so adorable describing all the new stuff I put in the tub for him! He sees all my beauty products in the bathroom, but isn’t sure what they do…

We laughed for a good long time!! He had to take a picture of these products and send them to a friend from work. They worked well though. Then once he was all clean, he started cooking.

He made me chicken fried steak and homemade french fries!! He was having the best time and we were talking and laughing the whole time he cooked! We are always laughing together! He did a great job! It was fantastic.  I’m obsessed now! He really is a fantastic cook! He was so very proud. The smile on his face was so cute! He was lit up like a Christmas tree!! Now that I am not being stupid and pushing him away, we are always having a great time together. Once he was done eating, he smiled really big, laid down saying he was so full and fell asleep!!

Now I just need to find a product to help me with beard burn!




I’m not sure what a healthy relationship looks like, but there’s a laundry hack for that…..

Adventures, cleaning, goals, mental health, relationships

I am in a new relationship and he says I keep trying to push him away. When we first met, I told him all the reasons he should not want to be with me. I told him I was super crazy, don’t know what I want, am overly dramatic,get mad when things are not the way I want them, am embarrassingly bad at math, am a hopeless romantic, am a terrible singer, all the bad things I have ever done, every story that is unflattering to me and basically that I suck as a person! He was not deterred. He said to stop trying to talk him out of it! He said “I love you” and I said thank you the first 3 times!! I even went to the mental hospital weeks into our relationship and still he stuck around!!

So here he is, a fully functional adult who writes me poems, sings love songs to me in the car,is not commitment phobic, when I apologize for starting a fight, he says it takes two to fight and it’s not my fault! He shares his food with me and always lets me eat all of his fries. The poor man has not had all of his french fries since the day we met!! He calls me several times a day just to say he loves me, and cooks for me. So what do I do? I get scared he’s going to leave me and it’s going to hurt bad, so I try to push him away and speed up the process by being completely unreasonable!!

Why would I do this? Because I have no idea what a healthy relationship is!! I’ve never seen one. They don’t make tv shows and movies about perfectly healthy functional relationships, that would be boring to watch!(duh) The relationships I have seen in real life have either ended or are not exactly healthy, with the exception of one couple, but that is the exception, not the rule!! If everything can be that good, then eventually I might feel twice as bad when it’s over!! Why am I obsessed with idea of protecting myself from the misery of when it’s over? Because anyone that wonderful could not possibly not leave me. Yeah, I’m a messed up chick! I have all kinds of sappy love song kind of feelings and it’s almost like I could really live happily ever after!! That scares me more than clowns!!

But what about the laundry, you ask? Well, he gets grease and all kinds of dirt that won’t come out on his work clothes. I do his laundry because he hates doing laundry and I don’t mind it. I’m not the absolute worst girlfriend ever!! I do have, some redeeming qualities. Anyhow, If you wash them like any other laundry, the stains don’t come out and they still smell like motor oil. So, after much trial and error, here is the formula to get them to at least smell clean..

1cup  oxy clean

1 cup Gain laundry detergent

1 Tide pod

Gain fabric softener

Wash with this formula twice and while they are still stained, they smell clean!

I’m working on learning how to be in a healthy relationship, and in time, I hope to know what that means..



The Blonde, the bug and the Washeteria…

Adventures, relationships

So yesterday I found myself in an unairconditoned laundromat which they call a Washeteria in this southern state I have moved to. It was about a thousand degrees and I was sweating bullets while washing my clothes and my man-friends clothes!! My hands are turning black from the quarters, money is filthy people!! So I go to the washroom and it has no soap!! The horror!! I did however have wet wipes in my car, so blackened hand crisis averted.

So I’m sitting there, sweating like a pig and reading a book just waiting to put our clothes in the dryer. I’m in a really good mood despite the fact that I am super gross, and I am planning out what to cook for dinner to impress man-friend, which is tough cuz I live in a motel and don’t have an oven!! As you can see, this requires thought..

So the clothes are finally ready to be moved to the dryer, and right in front of the washer is the biggest bug I have ever seen!! This thing must be on steroids!! It’s staring me down and practically daring me to get the clothes!! I’m way too sweaty to wait extra time to move the clothes, and way too scared of this thing to move/kill it. I open,the washer and do a weird swat like thing and pull out each item individually so it doesn’t fall on or anywhere near the bug, making sure not to look away from the bug so it doesn’t crawl on or towards me.

This man just sits and watches me do this ridiculous stuff for what feels like forever! I’d rather look stupid than come near the giant demon bug!! When I’m almost done, he comes over and steps on the bug and then takes a kleenex out of his pocket and removes it for me. I thank him profusely, wish he had done it sooner though..I guess I was just too weird to not watch for a while…

And just because I know you are wondering, I made spaghetti. Man friend said he was very impressed, probably because he laughed at me when I told him about the bug!

By the way, I’m afraid of bugs..



The case for not googling someone…

Adventures, relationships

I recently made a new friend. I’m relatively new to the state I currently live in, so making friends has been tough for me. I was super excited!! Then, he told me he researched me online. He knew the last name I had from my first marriage and the address of my childhood home, family members names, ect. I feel like he violated my privacy!! I have had problems with stalkers in the past, and I keep my online presence small and never reveal my location! I know everyone searches new friends or love interests online, but I think it’s a bad idea, hear me out…

So I have had friends who like a guy and painstakingly go through his facebook profile and instagram, ect. They spend hours searching and searching driving themselves crazy in the process, but it might be easier to just ask the questions they want answers to! That picture tells you nothing without context. Is that pretty girl in the picture with him an ex girlfriend or his sister? You could spend hours agonizing over that, or not look through that stuff at all and listen to what he says…

If you have kids and want to make sure your new love interest isn’t a registered sex offender, that makes sense! But stop there! His facebook post from 2012 isn’t going to give you any valuable information! By looking me up, you may know that I have been married twice, and got married way too young the first time, but you won’t know why. Isn’t the why the most important thing? You can find out my relatives names, but not how I feel about them, or know who makes the best cookies and what our holiday traditions are.

Searching me online won’t tell you that I’m a terrible singer but I love to sing and do it anyway,It won’t tell you I can really draw. It won’t tell you my hopes and dreams, that I’m funny,that I love the smell of vanilla or that I change my haircolor when I’m sad… Aren’t these type of things what a friendship is based on? I would much rather learn your stories from you, in your own words than drive myself nuts searching through your social media posts and imagining what the story might be! This is why, in my opinion, we should stop online stalking people! It doesn’t really tell you the important things anyway.

I will get off my soapbox now…


I have a job interview and food poisoning, but there’s a makeup look for that…

Adventures, makeup, relationships

So lately my life has been a bit chaotic! I’m getting divorced, spent time in a mental hospital, moved into a motel, met a new someone and am trying to get my life together. So I have been trying to get a job, and have an interview today!! I’m excited, I feel like everything is going to be okay….

Last night, I went to T.J.Maxx to buy an outfit for my interview, the only clothes I have with me are jeans or cut-off jean shorts and an assortment of band t-shirts, not great for a job interview!! I got some dress pants and an office-y shirt and shoes that look professional. Hooray for me! I then met up with my guy for dinner. They had calamari, which is one of my favorite things ever!! I got the calamari, it was fantastic!! We ate dinner and had great conversation, and then boom!

My stomach started gurgling and hurting! I had to go to the bathroom now!! Like right now! We paid the check and I ran, not walked, but literally ran to bathroom. ( classy date behavior for sure!) I was in there a very very long time. Restaurant bathrooms are not exactly private or sound proof. I was in pain, embarrassed and very sure I had food poisoning!! So, I made it back to my motel, where again, straight to the bathroom I went.

Poor guy!! He kept asking if I needed anything. My dignity back, but as that ship has sailed, I said water. Bless his heart, he tried to not make me embarrassed. I guess if he didn’t run away after hearing noises like that, he might just be a keeper.

Anyhow, so in just few short hours I have my interview!! Still sick as a dog and super dehydrated, my skin is not exactly amazing today. I kind of have that grayish cast to my complexion. To look professional and less like a corpse, I have chosen to go with a classic red lipstick instead of my usual smokey eye makeup. I used Clinique Moisture Surge  moisturizer, a very thick eye cream and DR.Jart BB cream on my face. A neutral eyeshadow, and Rimmel  London Provocalips lipstick in 420 berry seductive. It has a gloss that goes on after it to seal the color! I have lots of red lipsticks and this one is my favorite!! The staying power is amazing!! Whenever I have been sick or just want to look more professional, I go with a classic red lipstick and it never seems to fail me!! Trust!

So wish me luck! I hope I do well at the interview! I’ll get my life together soon, promise! Either way, I can look forward to poor poor Dude bringing me soup later and gatorade!!  I don’t recommend having food poisoning on a date, but I guess if it happens and he says he’ll bring you soup the next day, you know he’s a good guy!!

What’s your favorite red lipstick?



Sunscreen is the best anti-aging product! Don’t have a leather face, use sunscreen!!

Skin care

So, you know you should be wearing sunscreen, rain or shine everyday. (duh!) Most people don’t because of the smell, feel or just don’t think about it. Wearing sunscreen everyday helps prevent skin cancer, sunburn and skin aging!! What more could you ask from one single product?  Have you ever seen a person over 30 who doesn’t wear spf?More often than not, they have wrinkles, uneven skin tone, and that leathery look. No thank you!! I use spf 50 on my face daily and spf 30 on my body, this is just for daily activities. If I’m going to spend time outside, I use a higher spf! I am the world’s most pale person, so avoiding sunburn is a daily struggle!

I have started using Hawiian Tropic Sheer Touch sunscreen in place of my body lotion everyday. It has spf 30 and a little bit of shimmer! Don’t be afraid of the shimmer, it’s very very subtle! Not glitter! Will not make you look like a stripper! ( no offense to strippers) It smells a little bit like coconut when you first apply it, which doesn’t bother me because I think it smells beachy. After wearing it for a little while the smell fades away completely.  It feels like body lotion on, not sticky or gross feeling!

Every time I wear it, my guy says I look like I glow from within!! He is a great judge of what beauty products work, because he knows nothing about them! The compliments are genuine. It’s easy to remember to use it daily because I just put it on after my shower as a body lotion alternative. It’s moisturizing like a lotion too. I highly recommend it!!

Do you have a favorite sunscreen? Share!!



Dawn Dagger Challenge!Ask me anything..

Adventures, award, happy

My lovely friend wandersummer tagged me in the dawn dagger challenge! Check out her blog, she is incredibly smart!! This is an ask me anything challenge! You can always ask me anything!! As I’m sure you have noticed, I don’t hold anything back! Ask Away!! I’d love to hear what you want me to write about!!

Here are her questions..


  1. What is the first social media platform you signed up to and why? Myspace, because it seemed like the thing to do!! lol
  2. What do you find as the most difficult thing about being a blogger? Trying to find interesting things to share and baring my soul for the world to see.
  3. What do you find as the best thing about being a blogger? The creative process, when something I say helps someone else.
  4. If you could switch faces with a famous person, who will you pick to switch faces with? Angelina Jolie!! She is so beautiful!!
  5. If you could have your life written in a book by a famous author (living or dead), which author will you choose to write your life story? Tough one, F.Scott Fitzgerald, as he is my favorite author ever!!



Here are my questions..

  1. What is your strangest food craving?
  2. What is your best quality?
  3. Have you ever been in love?
  4. What is your favorite song?
  5. If you could have a super power, which one would you have?



I tag Rydergirl1