I’ve got 99 problems but chipped nail polish isn’t one..

nail polish, saving money

I have a love/hate relationship with painting my nails. I keep them painted all the time, otherwise I will bite them into bloody stumps! I hate when my nail polish chips and then I have to re-paint in a few days. Because of that, I get acrylic nails off and on. I’ve had no-chip shellac manicures as well. I love acrylics because they don’t chip and look good all the time,but they are expensive. I can’t afford to keep getting them done with all the crazy life changes going on with me right now. Gotta save money honey!

So, I just took off my acrylic nails myself, my weak, brittle natural nails look gross unless I keep them painted!I literally just picked them off over the course of a few days, leaving peely, gross, sore stumps where my pretty long nails used to be!  I decided to try CND Vinylux weekly polish. It’s a bit pricier than other nail polishes, but it truly lasts all week!! I picked it up on a whim at CVS. I painted my nails and over a week later, no chips! Not one chip! Lots of nail polishes promise to last, but usually can’t stand up to my daily routine.

They have a great range of colors to choose from, and it dries pretty quickly too! I’m not great at painting my nails, but they look great until I decide to re-paint! My life has been a crazy messy roller coaster ride lately and painting my nails has been pretty low on my list of things to handle! It’s one of those small things that help you look more polished and together!

I highly recommend you try it!!!





The art of hospital beauty (a story about, friendship,faith,self discovery and doing the best you can to look decent)

Adventures, goals, mental health, relationships, Self esteem

This beauty product enthusiast found herself in brand new situation, and was stripped of the very things I have always relied on to feel like “myself”. No makeup, no clean clothes, hairdryer, razor, tweezers, perfume, underwear, nail polish,cute clothes,cute shoes, dental floss…you get the idea… So this must be a very sad story, you must be thinking.. but surprisingly it’s not…

Well let’s start at the beginning! If you read my last post, you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. I take meds and go to therapy ( all the most interesting people do, promise) Well things got a little off balance in my complex mind and I was not quite myself, which is a giant understatement, trust. Things got way way out of hand and I ended up in the mental institution!! The stigma of this is not lost on me.

I arrived a very scared girl with only the clothes on my back ( which I had been wearing in the regular hospital for 2 days already) I had no idea what to expect! Was basically strip searched, and moved to a room to await the arrival of clean clothes and the very few allowed hygiene products. In my head, prison movies are shaping my expectations. I did not know what to expect, where to go, what to do, an I was about to meet the people I would share a living space with for an indeterminate length of time!! I am not a person who typically leaves the house without a shower, shaving and makeup on an done!! Now, it’s likely I smell, my no makeup puffy eyes from crying for days are obvious and my desperate need for a shower and toothbrush is not a priority for anyone who matters. ( the staff) My self esteem has always been fragile, and my clothes and makeup are how I put on a confident act! I show the world the version of myself I want them to see, not this version!

Within minutes, a very nice man befriended me! He offered to share his cigarettes with me, since mine would not arrive til much later that night and cigarette breaks are the only times I would get to be outside all day! Prior to this, I had been using an e-cig and not smoking, but when in rome as they say. At my very lowest, most un-pretty, other people in my same situation showed me kindness and support. About 10 hours later, clean clothes, hair products and the like were finally here!! A lady I will refer to as ” Nurse Ratchet” gave me my things. She told me I was not allowed to have my underwear, or the clean shirts delivered for me as they are not the “right” kind. I took a shower, put on my dirty clothes and started to cry in my room. ” Nurse Ratchet” bursts in, gets in my face and tells me crying is not allowed! If I do not stop crying right now, they will move me to another unit with dangerous people ( as I am in the high functioning unit currently #6) She would bring me down to #1 with the “criminally insane” and I would not be leaving anytime soon! Every part of me wanted to cry harder, but I did not. I bit the inside of my mouth til it bleed and joined the others as I was told. Day 1 was hard!

Surprisingly, I made friends very quickly! I stayed in good spirits and made people laugh! Little acts of kindness seem bigger in here. Things like taking someone’s empty meal tray away for them, inviting them to play cards or giving them a cigarette is the best, nicest you are allowed to be. ( no hugging allowed)  The girls all shared ponytail holders and outside hair tips! One girl had eyeliner, and did everyone’s makeup like Amy Winehouse!  We all had hairy pits and legs and eyebrow grooming is not possible!  Hospital beauty tip- putting deodorant on the inside of your pants when you are stuck wearing them commando for more than a day keeps you smelling a little bit better! A little body lotion can help tame frizzy hair,Hand sanitizer from the bathroom removes eye makeup and helps with stinky feet!

Before I arrived there, when stranger’s complimented me, it was always that I was so pretty. Inside, they complimented my intelligence, sense of humor, creativity and ability to give good advice! They prayed for me when I was sad that no one would give me numbers out of my phone to call someone I really wanted to talk to.They did not laugh or call me stupid for my blind faith and hopeless romantic ideals. Instead, they said I was brave for following my heart so completely and being so very all in. Most people are much too afraid to feel so deeply. They prayed I would get my love story after all!

I helped draw out ideas for tatoos they wanted to get, explained how to play 2 truths and a lie and we discussed our worst actions, biggest fears and what we will eat when we get home. We traded grooming tips, and talked about what we might be missing while the outside world went on without us. Would the objects of our affection wait for us? Would the stigma follow us forever and would all of our thoughts and feelings be dismissed from now on because ” so and so” is crazy? What does after this look like?

Once you take away the image you present to the world, the real you, in every sense is out in the open!  I never want to go back there, but I have more faith now, in myself, others and that somewhere out there or up there, is someone/something guiding me on my own journey. I am not truly alone. The real, raw, un-groomed, unedited me is pretty likeable. I still love beauty products, but I no longer need them as a crutch!





What it’s like to have anxiety and depression

relationships, Self esteem, sleep

Most people, if they’re lucky, never have to experience depression or anxiety. I bet you know someone who has one of them, even if you don’t know it…  This is what it feels like for me…

When you have anxiety, you over think everything all the time. The things people say, everything that happens all the time, for days on end. There are sleepless nights, obsessing about things that shouldn’t matter and panic attacks! For me, a panic attack starts with sweating excessively, feeling my chest tighten up, feeling like I can’t breathe and temporary loss of vision. I feel like I am dying and have even gone to the hospital, before I knew that I had panic attacks. The meds for panic attacks make me very sleepy.

When you have depression, people ask what’s wrong, but there is no particular reason. I want to stay in bed, sleep all day, and find it impossible to leave the house or do anything at all. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t. I might cry for days, feel worthless and believe everyone secretly hates me, or should hate me. I avoid seeing people, doing things I like to do, putting on makeup, or getting out of my pajamas. My own self loathing  is like a heavy blanket I can’t get out of. Depression meds stop working and need to be changed or adjusted sometimes and the change is not immediate so I can be like that for weeks at a time. It’s frustrating for everyone around me, and that makes me feel even worse.  It’s like the song Creep by radiohead..” But I’m a freak, I’m a loser, what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.”

When they both decide to show up at the same time, I can’t sleep because I can’t stop thinking about everything I should have done differently my entire life.  In my head I yell and barrate  myself for being the way I am. I then sleep all day for days because I am so tired. Panic about being depressed and thinking the whole world can just see it on me and thinks I’m crazy. I question every feeling I have, is it real, or made up in my head? Do I even know anything for sure? Can I trust my gut? I have awful nightmares every night that seem so very real.

Then, one day I wake up totally fine and am the happy, silly person everyone knows again. Like none of that was real… and I am totally okay for months at a time. All that is of course just my own personal experience, there are varying degrees of depression and anxiety and I assume that it is different for everyone who has it. If you know someone who suffers from depression, anxiety or both please understand that they did not choose it.


The easy way to get and keep your teeth white

cleaning, teeth whitening

Teeth whitening has been a thing for awhile. Those whitening strips and bleaching trays hurt my sensitive teeth!! My gums would turn white and hurt for days after trying those!! Not ideal! My teeth are white, but they hurt too much to eat or drink anything! No thanks…

I drink coffee and tea and still have white teeth because I use Rembrandt Intense Stain whitening toothpaste and Rembrandt Whitening mouthwash three times a day.  It is able to remove intense stains, so if you don’t have stains on your teeth, it really whitens!! It has baking soda and peroxide in it, so it is just abrasive enough to whiten without damaging the enamel on your teeth!! It doesn’t taste bad either!

Of course, I regularly get my teeth cleaned at the dentist, ( Duh) which is very important and also helps keep your teeth healthy and white!! People will notice if your teeth are gross and unhealthy, so please keep regular dentist appointments! That being said, using the right products makes a huge difference. I know it’s working because recently, my best friend, commented on how white my teeth are!! If your best friend notices, you know it works!!

Try it for a few weeks and let me know what you think!! Any secrets to white teeth? Share!!


The Best conditioner for blonde hair

hair products

If you’ve gone blonde, then you know that it can turn gold due to hard water, the sun, or just time. To keep your cool blonde bright and fresh, you should be using a purple shampoo. Adding a purple conditioner is even better!! I find a dark purple is better than a light purple…

There are a lot of blonde hair products to choose from, but typically if you are very bleached like me,( Think of the song Suicide Blonde by INXS ) you need damage repair as well as purple toning. I recently discovered Rusk deep shine purple x! Total game changer!! I’m obsessed!! It’s a dark purple, repairing conditioner that is thick like a mask. It smells faintly fruity but it’s very very subtle so I can’t smell it all day long.

I typically use it twice a week because I don’t want my hair to take on a purple cast, some people like that though, in which case use it more often. Before I discovered this, within 3 weeks my hair would get too gold and I would be sad. Blonde hair takes a little more work than Brown, but if you take care of it right, It’ll stay looking good til your next hair appointment.

Because my hair is very thick and wavy it tends to be dry, so I leave the conditioner on throughout my whole shower and rinse with cool water to discourage frizz. If your hair is finer, I’d say leave on about 10 minutes and rinse out. It won’t make your hair greasy!20170504_113958

If you try it let me know what you think!! Do you have any great blonde products? Share!!



The broke girls guide to working out

fitness, goals, happy, saving money

Summer is right around the corner and most of us want to look good in our summer clothes. It’s warm year round where I live so it’s good I really enjoy exercising! I prefer to workout at home and subscribe to Beachbody on demand and Les Mills on demand and Pilates  Anytime. I have also used The Daily Burn but cancelled that after a year since I had done every program and was no longer challenged. I’m very happy with these, but it can get expensive. I have a roku so I can get the workouts on my tv.

Just a few days ago, while I was getting my roots done, My hairstylist told me that YouTube has great workouts and they are free!! She is very fit! By the way, my hairstylist is truly amazing! She took me from very dark brown to almost platinum blonde in 1 day with very little damage. I only had to cut off 2 inches, which considering what I had done to my hair, was not much! If you need a hairstylist and live in the south, email me and will you give you her number if we live close by… Anyways, I’m always looking to change it up, and to see changes it is important to switch up your workouts. I decided to check out YouTube, and they literally have hundreds of workouts to choose from!! There really is something for everyone. I absolutely loved it. I’m super Obsessed!

I have some very specific goals for myself, which is what helps me stay motivated to workout even when I don’t feel like it. I want six pack abs, and to build some muscle and definition to my arms. I have the kind of body type that doesn’t build muscle easily so I really have to work for it. If I don’t set goals, I would give up because achieving that goal is not easy! But I know I can do it. I can do hard things is kind of my mantra, you can use it if you like. Once I achieve that goal, I need to set another and just want it bad enough to work hard for it!

The workouts they have very in length so today I did a 20 minute weights workout, which since I am trying to lift heavier weights was long enough. Then I did a 30 min. HIIT workout ( which is high interval intensity training) and I followed that with Pilates. I was so excited about all my options I wanted to do more, but figured I should stop there so I wasn’t too sore to workout tomorrow. Having trouble lowering yourself onto the toilet is not fun!

They have beginner workouts, intermediate and advanced in varying lengths so I think it really would be suitable for anyone at any level no matter what your goals are! The best thing is that it is also free and new workouts are being added everyday. I’m considering cancelling my subscriptions to the other channels, which would save me quite a lot of money.  Of course you can walk, run, or bike outside for free as well, but it was a great surprise to me to have all these other free options!! So now there are no excuses!!

Do you have any great workouts or workout advice??



Better skin with facial oils…

Skin care

Have you used facial oil? When I first heard about putting oil on your face, on purpose, I envisioned greasy, pimply skin!! I was so very wrong! Once I tried it, I became obsessed! Now it is part of my nightly routine and my skin has never looked better.

You can use facial oils in many different ways, pat it into your skin after toning and before moisturizer, mix it into your moisturizer, or use it at night after moisturizing!! I like to use them at night.  You always want to press it into your skin and be careful not to use too much! Too much and you are super greasy looking,Not ideal during the day, but at night not such a big deal. I’m going to assume you don’t set up a web cam for people to watch you sleep. If you do…no judgement, how much does that pay?

My favorite is Julep Rosehip oil. It brightens skin, moisturizes and fights free radicals. There are different oils for different skin types. I am super dry, so I use an oil that is deeply hydrating at night and wake up with no dryness , especially in winter. I got a few as samples from Sephora, which to me is the happiest place on earth! You can even go into the store and ask for a sample of one for your skin type.

I really think skin care is important! Your makeup will not look as good on bad skin! I find that when my skin looks good, I need less makeup or can even go without and not feel weird about it. Moisturized skin is younger looking skin!!

Have you found a great facial oil?? Share!!


The Versatile Blogger Award


Thank you soo much Mbalenhle of Budding Regardless for the nomination!! You should check out her blog!! She is wicked smart.

Rules for the versatile blogger award-

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and share their link.
  2. Nominate at least 10 bloggers for the award
  3. Reveal 7 facts about yourself

 7 facts about me

  1. I don’t know how to blow bubbles with my gum.
  2. I have big feet ( for my height) and very small hands
  3. I can’t whistle
  4. I can’t say no to french fries
  5. I have not seen my natural haircolor since Jr. High
  6. I am severely dyslexic
  7. I hate the taste of blue raspberry flavored things


10 Bloggers I nominate

  1. rydergirl1
  2. soobeautis
  3. Meg Kern Magic
  4. itsakoth
  5. Vicki Goodwin
  6. Makeup Addict
  7. Dae
  8. sunnyskiesandhazeleyes
  9. chiffchilla
  10. Amy