Am I enough yet?

Self esteem

No matter what i do, or what I’m good at, I feel like I am never enough. I know that I’m being judged constantly by other women. Everything I didn’t do well,buying instead of making snacks to bring to kid’s extra curricular activities, ect. We judge each other’s life decisions, deal with the idea we need to shed baby weight as quickly as possible, cook, shop, work and live all while being thin, friendly, happy and wrinkle free.  Do men feel this kind of pressure? doubt it.

When a man gets gray hair, it’s dignified and sexy. When a woman does, no so much. No one ever judges a guy on the size of his thighs. Their pants come with a waist and length measurement, a lot of women’s pants just have a number, a self esteem shattering number if it goes up( if you’re anything like me).

When a man is driven, determined and career focused he’s awarded. A woman with the same qualities is often called a bitch. If a guy sleeps with a bunch of women, his man friends don’t judge him and call him names. Can we say the same? Really?.

So what I’m wondering is why this crappy double standard still exists? It’s gotten much better. But I’m always trying to look younger, be thinner,be nicer, and feel very much a failure if it doesn’t go as planned. My guy is wonderful and always thinks I’m enough. But he has never felt the need to look hot in a cocktail dress,shed baby weight very quickly and pretend it wasn’t due to absolute obsessive exercising and dieting. He has never broken down in tears in dressing room due to his pants size. I have, many times.

One thing I have noticed is that women are mean to each other, really really mean. It doesn’t stop in high school, it extends to offices and daycare and the PTA. Women in their 30’s and 40’s and probably beyond still call each other sluts and whores, call each other bad mom’s, criticize their careers or lack of careers, spending habits, weight, what so and so wore to the grocery store, ect.

I wish as women we could be nicer to each other. If we treated each other as nice as men treat other men, I think we would all be happier.

 

Kristin

 

 

 

 

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